What to Wear when we Flop Over the Fiscal Cliff?

It is not fashion’s way to take a back seat to politics. But it does always want to come along for the ride. So as we approach the end of the year and the edge of the cliff, the inevitable sartorial question is “what to wear?” The answer may depend on your political color. First, let’s clear up the date. The day we go over is January 1st, 2012. Mark your calendar and prepare your wardrobe.Backstepping Off the Fiscal Cliff

Something Dramatic – You are a person who sees politics as opportunity. Today congress is screwing up; the president is an idiot, you say. You want to make it plain. Wear clothes with flare. Put a scarf around your neck or a pocket square in your jacket or shirt. Put on shoes that alert and alarm. Add hairspray to poof up your head.

Something Desperate – Things have gotten bad, really bad. The government can hardly stand without crutches. Layoffs are starting and they will avalanche. Businesses that are left will flee the country. You are out for survival. Wear your survival best. A canteen – or flask – to quench your thirst. Reversible jacket. Polar fleece long johns. Ski cap. Winter boots. Warm gloves at the ready. It is going to be a long, hard winter and you’d better at least make a good start.

Something Indecent – Money comes and money goes, but indecency stays forever. Yes, it does. OK, it is time to stick-it-to politics. Look what government is doing to personal freedom in San Francisco. People just can’t walk around outside nude any more. Let alone wear sneakers and jeans to a fancy dinner. Since indecent could mean something different every place you go, try these suggestions. A quiet day at home? Wear what the delivery man would not want to see, including: go naked if necessary. Going to a post New Years’ brunch with friends? Search your closet for something that will appall them. If they are Republicans, how about a Che Guevera cap?

Something Blase – OK, fiscal cliff, shmishcal fliff, you just don’t care. It is grid lock politics as usual and if anyone expected different, they are naïve. On top of that just about everyone knows deep down that it is all about show and drama. Really the impact is completely discounted. Even Warren Buffet, a man notoriously famous for decisive moves – NOT – said he would not sell a single share. Just dress like you normally do and even tone it down a little.Dress to Jump Off Fiscal Cliff

Something Moody – Why can’t they just work it out! Is that so hard? No! Today you should not match your clothes. Show your displeasure with some jarring contrasts of colors and styles. A Victorian blouse with sleek modern slacks. A conservative suit with 1970′s platform shoes.

Something Revealing – You want to use this political impasse to tell something about yourself. It could be that, Fuck It All, you have great biceps. Or perhaps you want to show that you are actually gay. While, the country is unable to function properly there is no better time to distract. Wear something that explains who your are and why you like to be that way.

Something Alluring – When people are upset, it is a great time to comfort them. And when money is about to be taxed, often rich people are upset. Put on something sexy and go where the rich commiserate on New Years’ day. Perhaps it is a high priced restaurant with a popular bar. Or check if there’s a sale on at the local Ferrari dealer or Tiffany’s. Then move in to comfort.

Something Staid – You’ve made your bundle already and tucked it away in Swiss bonds and gold bars. Sure it sucks to see taxes go up and employment go down, but you are a trooper. Stiff upper lip, you’ll waddle through. Wear something showing you are unruffled. It is a tough time indeed, but you are unflappable. Men, try a grey pin stripe suit and polished shoes or go causal with a Lacoste shirt and loafers. For women a simple, traditional black dress and Chanel bag would be perfectly adequate.

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